


ain't gonna do me any good

by seularen



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Character Study, Introspection, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seularen/pseuds/seularen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But every day it's as if they're telling him: you're the exception, not the rule.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ain't gonna do me any good

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written for weatherdlaw [here](http://hariboo-smirks.livejournal.com/301452.html?thread=2538380#t2538380) for the prompt: "bruce/tony/pepper; please don't tell me i can't make it, it ain't gonna do me any good." I made a few edits to this version before posting.

One month is the longest consecutive time Bruce has spent in an English-speaking country since the last time he was in New York City. That record is shattered thanks to Pepper Potts and Tony Stark, who convince him to stay with promises that they'll protect him from the military and he'll have unreserved access to every resource at the disposal of Stark Industries. He had meant to leave after giving himself time to recuperate, but those first few weeks were enough time for Tony and Pepper to pester their way under his skin. 

Tony's cheerfully unflinching around Bruce, seeming to ignore that Bruce had long given up on the possibility of such trust. When he starts seeing more of Pepper, Bruce is struck by her frank refusal to accept anything even hinting at self-pity. It's obvious that Tony adores her for calling him on his bullshit and unabashedly expecting more from him as a human being-- instead of just the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, a role in which Tony easily loses himself. Bruce more than understands (allows himself to think of Betty, then pushes the memories back down), and envies them from a distance... or would, except they persist in including him. Pepper finds reasons to touch him: ruffling his hair or putting her hand on his shoulder as she walks by; Tony is downright _considerate_ , showing restraint when dealing with the military liaison sent to collect Bruce after word leaks he's holed up in Stark's penthouse suite. Whatever Tony does, it's so effective that he gets the entire military to redirect all further inquiries about Bruce Banner directly to the desk of Nick Fury. The name alone stops most. 

Bruce knows what's happening, and he knows it's because of their blithe naïveté. They don't fear like they should, and won't admit the _inevitability_ of the other guy. Viciously, Bruce thinks Tony of _all_ people should understand: for some people falling off the wagon isn't a possibility, it's an eventuality. Each morning, he wakes up wondering if today will be the day he loses control. It’s better than it was, but he still goes to sleep exhausted from holding himself at constant attention. His bag sits on the floor of his closet, perpetually half-packed; he still means to leave. But... he's selfish. Selfish enough to put his only friends in real peril for his own emotional comfort. In another life, he would be just as incredulous at their attention... but that wouldn't have stopped him. Even knowing the danger it could put them in, Bruce can’t walk away.

They're all in the lab when it happens: Tony is bickering with Pepper and she's giving it right back-- their familiar mad lib rhythm, finishing sentences and trading eyerolls-- and Bruce is trying to add up a column of sums, so none of them notice until the built-in alarm shrieks. By then it's far too late, the chemicals already reacting in a hiss of angry volatility. Pepper is closest to the smoldering table, the sudden blue flames spitting and sounding more and more like the crescendo something makes before it overheats and explodes. Bruce looks up in alarm to catch Tony's face twist from laughter to confusion into ugly fear. There's an instant of pure emotion in Bruce: terror, rage, fear. All his mental dams crumble and adrenaline courses through his body with the instinct to-- and the monster is _there_ , no warning, reaching up to take control in time to react with inhuman reflexes: pushing the tiny vulnerable humans out of the way and taking the brunt of the destruction upon himself. 

Pepper says later that it was _noble_ ; Tony has some other words for it. 

After Bruce comes back to consciousness, the first thing he notices is the bruises. Pepper has blues and browns splayed across the side of her face, and Tony walks with a limp. They play it off, but Bruce knows it's all from the other guy. _Any rougher and I could've killed..._ And then he thinks: _I can't do this_ , and he runs. 

They must decide to give him some space, because they leave him alone for a week. He makes it to a hideout he'd established last year in Cambodia, but he isn't surprised when a day after he arrives one of them knocks on his door. After all, he's been living with Tony Stark. If he hadn't managed to plant a tracking device on Bruce in the first _week_ , Bruce is severely overestimating the man. 

But it's not Tony who walks in the door. It's Pepper, who takes long strides to stop right in front of him. 

"It's time to come home," is what she says, simple as that. As if it's an inevitability. Something in him surrenders, and it must show on his face because Pepper reaches out and pulls him into a hug. He scrunches his face into her shoulder, breathing in deeply.

"Tony's blowing up appliances again," Pepper tells him conversationally, and he grins against her neck, then pulls back to laugh fully at the absurdity. The laugh leaves him a little breathless-- or maybe it's nerves. Pepper's studying his expression and he doesn't know what she expects. 

"You're not safe around me," he says, because that's the crux of it.

"Even if you _didn't_ think we could decide that for ourselves as capable adults with bodysuits made of gold-titanium alloy, you're wrong." His lips become a thin line but she perseveres. "You're wrong about him. Tony explained it, but I didn't see it for myself until--"

"Until he hurled you against a wall?" he interrupts, clenching his fists. 

"Until he _saved_ me," Pepper snaps back, then takes a breath and calms her voice. "When I was six, my mother and I were walking through a parking lot. I began running, and suddenly my mom grabbed my dress and yanked me back to get me out of the way of an oncoming car. She pulled me back so hard I fell and hit my head on the bumper of another car. I had to get stitches." Pepper looked at Bruce until he finally looked at her face. "He _cares_ , Bruce. He cares _so much_ that he forgot his strength in a moment of terror. He acted on instinct-- _your_ instinct."

There's a pause in which Bruce looks at his hands, remembering. He wanted to reach these hands into the growing flames, regardless of consequence. He was willing to put himself in danger. More than willing, he was already reaching out. And the other guy... knew that. 

When they get back, Tony has put up a huge electronic "Days Since Last Accident" counter in the lab. Pepper chides him for it, but they're all make jokes about it even weeks after. 

It's not the first time he's run, and he knows it's only a matter of time before he leaves again. Bruce lives with that uncertainty every day. He'll allow himself these moments of belonging, but he won't slip into complacency. He'll wait for it, teeth always gritted. 

But every day it's as if they're telling him: you're the exception, not the rule. 

And Bruce... he almost begins to believe them.


End file.
